How Long Should My Baby Be Sleeping?

This is the blogpost that you want to save forever! This will give you all the information on how much sleep your child needs. Below you can find awake windows per age as well as sleep needs (day, night, and total).

Average Sleep Needs & Windows of Wakefulness by Age

Age	Wakefulness Window	Number of Naps	Total Daytime Sleep	Total Nighttime Sleep	Total Sleep
0 – 5 Months	0 – 1.5 Hours	4 – 5 a day	8 Hours	8.5 Hours	16.5 Hours
6 - 8 Months	2 – 3 Hours	3 a day	3.5 Hours	11 Hours	14.5 Hours
9 – 11 Months	3 – 3.5 Hours	2 a day	3 Hours	11 Hours	14 Hours
12 – 18 Months	4 – 5.5 Hours	1 – 2 a day	2.5 Hours	11 ¼ Hours	13 ¾ Hours
2 Years	5.5 - 6 Hours	1 a day	2 Hours	11 Hours	13 Hours
3 Years	6 – 12 Hours	1 a day	1 Hour	10.5 Hours	12 Hours
4 Years	6 – 12 Hours	1 a day or quiet time	0 - 45 minutes	11.5 Hours	11.5 Hours
5 Years					11 Hours
6 Years					10 ¾ Hours

Why Does My Child Take Short Naps?

Putting your little one down to take a nap, only to have her wake up 30 minutes later, can be very frustrating! Our babies don’t get the amount of sleep they need, and as parents we start worrying. Catnaps are naps that are anything less than 45 minutes. They are not considered restorative sleep, as she only stays in the “light sleep” part and doesn’t really enter the “deep sleep” phase. While she’ll wake up and seem like she’s ready to go on about her day, the nap didn’t allow her to fully rest and get the amount of sleep she needs.  

What can cause a short nap?

Age: Day sleep doesn’t start consolidating until your baby is closer to 5-6 months old. If your baby is under the age of 5 months, it is normal for her to have short, inconsistent naps. Newborns aren’t able to connect through the sleep cycles, which causes frequent wake ups and short naps. As they get older, their brain develops, and they are able to connect between sleep cycles and take longer and restorative naps.

Overtired: Have you kept her up too long? Are you trying to stretch her awake window far beyond she can handle? A lot of parents think that if they keep their baby up longer, she’ll be more tired and will sleep longer. But this is a big myth! When they are awake for too long and have passed their awake window, they are now overtired. Why? When we keep our baby up longer than their awake window, they start secreting cortisol instead of melatonin. Their bodies start getting a second wind and when you try to put them down to nap later, it will be harder for them to get into a deep sleep with cortisol kicking.

Undertired: The term ‘undertired’, as opposed to overtired, is when your baby is not tired enough or ready to take a nap. In this case, she may fall asleep, but because she doesn’t have enough sleep pressure to help her extend her nap, she will wake up sooner. Sleep pressure is an unconscious biological response that makes us want to go to sleep, a result of adenosine building up in our brains during the time we are awake. It builds up as our time awake increases, and then it decreases as we sleep.   

Environment: Is the room dark enough? You also want to make sure that the room isn’t too bright, so close the shades and make sure the room is dark. Too much light can be distracting and can also stop the production of melatonin. Make sure the room is quiet and perhaps use a white noise machine to avoid any loud noises waking her up.

Sleep Crutches: If you are doing something to or for your child to help her fall asleep at the beginning of the nap, she will need you to help her when she wakes up mid-nap. She will not be able to connect the sleep cycles on her own, will have a partial awakening, and then will wake up and not be able to go back to sleep without your help.

Swaddling Your Newborn

Swaddling is a popular term heard when you have a newborn.  I mean swaddling is even done from day 1, in the hospital when they are wrapped tightly like a burrito. It’s most commonly suggested as a means to calm your newborn. When you swaddle your little one, you are tightly wrapping her in a blanket, with arms in, to restrict the sudden movement of her arms and legs. It helps avoid the Moro reflex (startle reflex) from waking her up. The idea with the swaddle is to help re-recreate the feeling of being in the womb; all warm and tight. It’s suggested to not only help calm your baby but also help her sleep longer and better. But don’t worry if your little one doesn’t like it. Not all babies, including my first son, don’t enjoy it and that’s OK! Here are a few of my favorite swaddles.

 I will caution that swaddling can also come with some risks. Some safety concerns such as overheating, SIDS, and hip dysplasia. You have to make sure you are wrapping your newborn correctly, and you don’t want to overheat your baby.

Safe ways to swaddle:

• Always put your baby on her back when swaddled and never on her belly.

• If you are using a blanket, make sure it’s light and breathable.

• Make sure to wrap tightly enough so that the blanket won’t come undone the minute she starts moving around.

• The arms should be wrapped inside by her chest. Or some like them by their sides.

• Make sure that her legs can still move. She should be able to move her hips, knees, and feet freely up and down. This helps avoid hip dysplasia.

• Make sure not to over-layer! Remember, the swaddle is like a blanket, so try not to dress her in too many layers to avoid overheating.

• Make sure to leave your child unwrapped for playtime and feeding times. You want your baby on tummy time playing and exploring without it.  

Signs your child is ready to wean from the swaddle:

• Your baby is between 4-5 months old.

• If your baby starts rolling over, you will need to stop swaddling. This can become a safety issue because if your child rolls over while in the swaddle, she will be on her tummy without being able to use her arms to push herself up, which can be dangerous.

• If your baby starts fighting you with the swaddle and doesn’t want it anymore.

Weaning your baby from the swaddle:

• When you remove the swaddle, there may be some sleep regression, as your child is learning how to sleep without it.

• You can start off by swaddling with one arm out and one arm in.

• Once she gets used to one arm out, you can then continue swaddling only her legs and leave both arms out.

• At this point you can transition to a sleep sack and offer a lovey.

Dad's role in sleep

With Father’s Day coming up, I thought it would be great to dedicate this post to talk about how important Dad’s role is to our child’s sleep. As I always like to say, my husband and I co-parent. We both work. We both raise our kids. We both bathe our kids. We both feed our kids. So why can’t we both sleep our kids? (Don’t worry, we do 😉).

Newborn Stage:

This stage I often refer to as “survival mode.” It’s a bit of a chaotic honeymoon stage. We’re in love, and we’re over the moon with our new addition. Yet at the same time, we’re exhausted and don’t know how to do it all. However, the newborn stage is when we need all hands on deck! We need BOTH parents doing it all, to help each other out, and more importantly, to bond with our newborn. Yes, even though Mom chooses to EBF, Dad can play a HUGE roll in newborn’s sleep.

1.     Bedtime routine: Dad can take over 3 (if not all 4) of the 4 B’s for the bedtime routine (bathe, bottle, book, bed). If Mom is EBF, Dad can still do the other parts to the routine. Bathe newborn and offer a nice yummy massage. Read a book and swaddle and rock your newborn to sleep.

2.     Middle of the night wake-ups: Those first few months your newborn will be up many times for many reasons. Sometimes to feed, but sometimes just to regulate breathing and temperature, or want that one-on-one contact. If Mom is EBF, then perhaps Dad can take over the other wake ups, and settle baby to sleep. This will help Mom get a break and get some rest too.

3.     Naps: Dad can take over a nap (or two) to give Mom a break. This is the time when we are supposed to swaddle, rock, hold, or even bounce our baby to sleep. So have Dad spend one-on-one time with her, and hold her as long as he wants!

 Infant and toddler stage:

Coming out of the newborn stage and into the infant stage, she will start settling into a nice sleep routine. Again, we will need Dads to help us in so many ways!

1.     Sleep Training: Your infant will need to learn the self-soothing techniques to put herself to sleep. When you begin sleep training, you will BOTH need to help each other out throughout the process. Supporting each other, staying consistent, and allowing the other one to catch up on some rest after being up sleep training. Even more so, if there is a strong nurse-to-sleep association, we will need Dad to help Mom break this habit (not stop nursing, just break the feed to sleep association).

2.     Bedtime routine: Now more than ever will we need Dad during the bedtime routine. This routine is crucial to healthy sleep habits for your infant. If Dad is able to be home for 3 or 4 of the 4 B’s, it would be so helpful!

3.     Naps: Your infant will need to nap 1-3x a day and what better way to help, than doing nap time routines on the days he’s home! This will give Mom a chance to be with the other child, or even just take a break from it all.

Have special situations that you have questions on? Sure, not a problem! Schedule a call and let’s talk it over.  

Separation Anxiety and Sleep

Have you noticed your child extra clingy lately? She doesn’t let you leave her playing on her own for one minute? Will cry when you leave her for just one second? This can be that she is going through a separation anxiety peak. Your child will go through these peaks at many points during their first two years (6-9 months, 12 months, 18 months, and 2 years old), as they try to understand object permanence. The act of separating from their parent gets them sad and anxious, as they are still trying to understand "mommy comes back" even though we're separating. "Mommy still exists" even though I don't see her.

But did you know that this can affect sleep and cause sleep regressions? When putting your child down to sleep, she will start crying where she normally doesn't. But that's OK! It's normal! If your child is going through this, you can still respond to her, while still keeping to healthy sleep habits and rules. Sitting by your child to comfort her is OK, but make sure you don't start creating sleep crutches.

A few tips on how to handle the separation anxiety peak and sleep issues:

1. Security Object: Does your little one have a lovey or security object? If not, this is a great time to introduce one. A small, breathable, light lovey that she can hold onto can help ease the transition from mommy to the crib.

2. Respond: When your child is going through a separation anxiety peak, it is important to respond to her; she needs to know you are there. Remember, this is her trying to understand you are “still there” even tough she can’t see you. Whether you choose to go in for a quick check, or stay by their crib to offer reassurance. Either way, it is important for your child to be able to see you once you have put her in the crib.

3. Consistency: The key to not letting this affect your child’s sleep long term, is to decide on one way you want to respond to your child, and stick to it! If one day you leave your child crying, and then the next time you come in and hold her to sleep, can cause confusion. Remember to stay consistent in how you respond.

4. Play games: Peek-a-boo is a common game we play with our little ones. But what parents don’t realize is that this is an essential game to help them understand object permanence. “I hear mommy, but I don’t see her, oh now I do!” Try to play lots of peek-a-boo, and even hide-and-seek for the older ones!

5. Read Books: There are a lot of great visual books to help your child through this process. Reading to her and showing pictures of the actual “separation” can help your child understand what’s going on. Here’s a great list of books.

Hang in there! These are just peaks that your child will go through that are important for their development. We want them to go through this, experience, and learn from this. If you find that you are having troubles with your child’s sleep, contact me. Let’s talk!!

Setting Up Your Child's Sleep Space

The first step in creating healthy sleep habits is setting up your child’s sleep space. The most important part of the sleep space is not WHERE they will be sleeping but HOW they will be sleeping. Your baby should be sleeping on his back, on a flat surface, and bare (with no pillows and blankets). In order to practice safety sleep habits, you want to make sure your child is separated from your sleep space in either a bassinet, crib, or pack-n-play. (If you choose to co-sleep, you can, but you must make sure you follow the correct guidelines for co-sleeping.)

After setting up your baby’s sleep space you may want to take a few other things into consideration:

1. Darkness: Make sure the room is dark, and shades are closed for naps and night. While you don’t need to go out and purchase the most expensive black-out shades, (you can purchase temporary shades, or put up aluminum foil or a plastic table cloth), I do recommend closing the curtains during nap time to make it darker and so your child knows it’s “time to go to sleep.” For the older kids (2 years old and up), you may want to put a small little night light as they may scared of the dark.

2. Temperature: Research suggests the ideal room temperature should be between 68-72 F. I full recognize that for some that can be too cold, depending on where you live and how you use your ac (or not). Take into account that your child won’t be using blankets and doesn’t have the body warmth of someone sleeping next to them. Take a look at the air vents, is the room small or big, does the room warm up with the sunshine during the day?

3. Music: During those first few months, you can have soft lullaby and music playing throughout the day, as this can help them distinguish night vs day. But as your child gets older, it’s better not to have the music playing while they sleep, as it can distract them and even cause more of the light sleep.

4. White Noise Machine: This is definitely my favorite part of the sleep space. If you have other children in the house, a loud dog, or live on a noisy street, the white noise machine really helps drown out the exterior noise. It is recommended to have it on a medium to low setting, not so close to the crib, and on the whole time your child is sleeping. Check out a few of my favorites here.

5. Mobiles: These are OK to use the first few months. It’s great for entertaining and relaxing your newborn. However, I don’t usually suggest keeping them once your child is 5 months or older. As your child gets older, the mobile can become a safety issue when he starts standing and pulling on it. Mobiles can also cause a distraction. Too much noise and sound can actually distract and stimulate your baby, rather than relax and get him ready to sleep.

6. Pillows, blankets, and bumpers: None of these are suggested to have in the crib if your child is under the age of 12 months. Some parents choose to use mesh bumpers or even individual railing bumpers. Pillow and blankets are not needed and they should wait until he is closer to 3 years old to use them.

7. Bed railing: If your child is in a bed, it is important to have a bed railing on the side. Most toddler beds come with one, but the bigger beds don’t.

If you have specific questions on your child’s sleep space, let’s talk!

My Baby Is Sick And Now His Sleep Is Falling Apart...

I often get calls from parents who have fallen into a major regression from a small cold their child had months ago. Unfortunately, our kids will get sick many more times than we’d like and many times, depending on how sick they are, schedules, routines, and even sleep will fall apart. However, it doesn’t always have to be that case!

What to do when your child is sick

• Even when your child is sick, it is suggested to put your child down awake at bedtime.  Chances are, even though he is feeling sick, he will still be able to go down into the crib awake and put himself to sleep. Being able to fall asleep on his own makes his job of moving through sleep cycles in the middle of the night much easier. 

• If your child wakes up in the middle of the night (more then just moaning and fussing and then falling back to sleep relatively quickly) when he is sick, always respond because this is the only way you will know if there is something that needs more intervention.  Maybe he has a fever or has thrown up.  I always recommend doing a parenting check when children who, otherwise sleep well, suddenly wake in the middle of the night.

• If you have to do something to help your child be more comfortable in the middle of the night, you can! Sometimes with a coughing spell they need to be held upright, or with a fever, he may need Tylenol. As your child starts to feel a bit better, try putting him back in his bed so he can put himself back to sleep. In many cases, when children are good sleepers and are most comfortable in their own bed, they actually want to go back to bed after a wake up due to illness. 

• If your child is so sick that you feel like you can’t leave him on his own, I always recommend staying in your child’s room with him rather then bringing him to your bed.  While putting your child in your bed to sleep may not cause a problem if it happens once or twice, as he gets older, this can become a habit that is harder to break once he is feeling better.  I always say, it’s easier to remove yourself from his room, but not the other way around.

• If whatever illness your child has come down with is so miserable that any form of independent sleep throughout the illness is out of the question and you need to provide far more assistance with sleep then you normally would, then you will have a bit of work to dig yourself back out of the “illness hole” that you may have fallen into once your child recovers.  I find that the farther you fall, so to speak, the harder it is to get back on track.  For example, if your child was previously sleeping entirely independently before the illness and now has become accustomed to being held to sleep at bedtime and needs help going back to sleep overnight, you will have a harder climb to get on track. Once you are feeling confident that your child is feeling better, you will want to work on getting things back on track as quickly as possible!!! This may mean you need to return to whatever sleep training methods you used if you previously sleep trained your child.  While you will likely be met with some resistance initially, when your child remembers that you will respond consistently, things will start to improve and you will have your champion sleeper back. 

Have you found yourself in a “sickness regression”? Has it been weeks or months since your child is feeling better, yet sleep still isn’t restored? Call me and let’s talk!

How Much Sleep Does My Baby Need?

Day sleep is so important for our little ones! Not only do they need to rest their little bodies and minds, they also need to get in good day sleep in order to get in good night sleep. Studies show that if your child is taking short catnaps, that is less than 45 minutes where she isn’t reaching the deep sleep (Non-REM), chances are she will wake frequently have interrupted sleep at night. This is where the phrase “Sleep Begets Sleep” comes from.

But how much should my baby sleeping? It really all depends on her age. When they are younger they need more day sleep, and have less awake windows. As they get older, their awake window increases (meaning they can be awake for longer periods of time), and will need less day sleep overall. The most important thing to know is that your little one will need to nap up until the age of about 3-4 years old.

Here’s a friendly chart to help guide you with your child and her naps those first few years:

Age Wakefulness Window Number of Naps Total Daytime Sleep

0 – 5 Months 0 – 1.5 Hours 4 – 5 a day 8 Hours

6 - 8 Months 2 – 3 Hours 3 a day 3.5 Hours

9 – 11 Months 3 – 3.5 Hours 2 a day 3 Hours

12 – 18 Months 4 – 5.5 Hours 1 – 2 a day 2.5 Hours

2 Years 5.5 - 6 Hours 1 a day 2 Hours

3 Years 6 – 12 Hours 1 a day 1 Hour

4 Years 6 – 12 Hours 1 a day or quiet time 0 - 45 minutes

When Should I Move My Child To a Bed?

Transitioning your child from a crib to a bed is a big deal! Not only is she now a “big girl,” but going from being inside the crib with the comfort of the railings to keep her safe and secure, to an open bed, is a BIG change. Most parents rush to do this a little too quickly and then sleep starts falling apart.

A few things to know:

• First things first, do NOT move your child to a bed “to fix her sleep problems.” If your little one is having sleep issues, you will continue seeing them when she is in a bed and maybe even worse. It is suggested to address the sleep issues first, then transition her to a bed.

• Wait until she is at least 3 years old or older. Under the age of 3, it is very hard cognitively for your little one to understand that she has the freedom of getting in and out, but must respect the correct sleep habits of staying in her bed.

• The age that you transition your child to a bed does not determine how smart she is. Don’t rush in transitioning your little one to a bed, if she’s happily sleeping in her crib. If she moves to a bed at 3 or at 4 years old, it will NOT determine what college she’ll get into.

Need help in transitioning your little one to a bed? Call me and we can talk it over.

Sleep Associations: What they are and their impact on sleep

Sleep crutches, also known as sleep associations or sometimes referred to as sleep props, are anything that we do for or to our child in order to help her fall asleep at the onset of sleep.

Some examples of sleep crutches are:

• Rocking

• Feeding (both breastfeeding and bottle feeding)

• Holding your child’s hand to sleep

• Patting/rubbing her to sleep

• Laying down with the child to fall asleep at bedtime

(I do want to be very clear that if you are using a sleep crutch to get your child to sleep and it is working for you and/or your family, then this is not something that you have to change. It is only something to be changed if it is no longer working for you.)

Babies under 4-6 months often need sleep crutches

Babies are not born with the immediate ability to self-soothe and regulate themselves, this comes once they are older. In those first few months, you will need to help them do this, and by doing so you will NEED to hold, rock, feed, and anything else to get your child sleeping. This is normal and it important to do those things because this is how your baby starts to trust that if he/she needs something, you will be there.

When sleep crutches stop working

BUT…as children move past the 4-6 month mark, they start to become very capable of falling asleep independently. In many instances, these sleep crutches will stop working. This means that you may feed your baby and he/she falls asleep, but when you go to make the transfer to a sleeping space, your baby wakes up. Or, now your baby wakes after 30 or 45 minutes or every 2 hours throughout the night. Or rocking your child to sleep takes double the time. This is can be an indication that your child is starting to become capable of falling asleep independently. When this happens, you can start to teach your child how to fall asleep without the help of the sleep association.

How do you stop using sleep crutches?

This is where sleep coaching often comes in so that children can start to develop the skill of falling asleep on their own at bedtime and then use that skill repeatedly throughout the night to go back to sleep. Sleep coaching does not have to be a horrible and dreaded process. In many cases, parents can be involved in a way that is both supportive, nurturing and eye opening. Parents tell me all the time that they were amazed by the fact that they could see their child learning this new skill right in front of their eyes. 

Contact to schedule an initial call so we can talk about how to work together in removing those sleep associations, and start creating healthier sleep habits.

Sleepy Cues

How do you know your little one is ready to sleep?

When your child starts getting tired, he will start showing you signs that he wants to go to sleep. It’s his way of communicating with you that his melatonin started to kick in, and he is getting sleepy.

We all secrete melatonin when we are getting tired and ready to go to sleep. The thing is, with our babies they are secreting them more often, since they need more day sleep (and sleep overall). When they’ve hit their sleep window, they will secrete the melatonin, which is a calming hormone that helps their body calm down and get ready for sleep. 

A lot of times, we may miss the cue, so we have to be very careful to make sure we catch them at the right time, otherwise we will miss their sleep window, causing them to be overtired and making it harder for them to fall asleep. 

Some common sleepy cues to look out for are:

-       Rubbing eyes

-       Rubbing nose

-       Pulling ears

-       Red/droopy eyes

-       Yawning

-       Cranky and crying

Want to learn more about when your child should be showing sleepy cues? Contact me and we can talk about your child’s sleep windows.

Why Was My Child Up Last Night?

The act of sleep training teaches your child how to put herself to sleep and back to sleep on her own. If she does it at bedtime, she will be able to do it in the middle of the night. But what parents need to understand is that she will still wake up in the middle of the night, as we all do and that’s how our sleep rhythms work. However, with a sleep trained child, she will quickly go back to sleep on her own. There are some instances where your child will wake up more than usual, for either longer periods of times or more frequently. Parents go into panic mode and start responding inconsistently, which in the end can cause bad habits.  

It’s good to be prepared and know what may cause these long wake ups in your child in case you find yourself in this same situation.

1. Medical Issues – There are some medical issues that can cause sudden sleep disruptions. If your child comes down with a bad cough or cold, stomach issues, virus, flu, or anything like that, she will of course wake up more. However, sometimes there are other medical issues that can cause constant sleep problems, such as: allergies, reflux, apnea, and RLS. If you suspect your child is having any serious medical issue that can be causing frequent night wake ups, make sure to follow up with your pediatrician.

2. Sleep Crutches – Are you doing anything to or for your child to help him go back to sleep at night? Sometimes when our little one wakes up, we run in too quickly and respond right away or do too much. Are you finding yourself rubbing her back until she falls asleep? Are you taking her out to rock her a little? Are you just going to tuck her in or give her some water? Are you reinserting the pacifier for her, even though she can do it on her own? A lot of times we tend to do too much. Even though it’s a quick fix, what’s a short/quick solution can turn into a long-term problem.  

3. Schedule – Your child’s daytime schedule can really affect her nighttime sleep. While they need their daytime sleep, sometimes getting too much sleep can cut into their total required sleep and take away from their night sleep. Similarly, if they didn’t sleep enough sleep during the day, you will have an overtired child at night, which causes a lot of light sleep and frequent wake ups. Make sure to follow the required amount of day/night sleep as well as the correct awake windows to avoid night disruptions.

4. Sleep Regression – Your child will be going through a lot of changes those first couple of years. Everything from growth spurts to developmental milestones, which will affect her sleep. It’s important to remain consistent with her sleep habits through these regressions. For example, if they are learning how to go from standing to sitting, practice a lot during the day, but when it comes to night sleep, do not assist her too much, let them do it on their own.

If you find that your child is continuing to wake up at night, and you can’t seem to figure out why, contact me to set up your initial FREE call.

Infant & Toddler Sleep Development

You child’s sleep patterns are constantly changing the first few months. Right when you think you’ve got it, your child will go through another change in their sleep habits. It’s good to know the basics of the infant and toddler sleep development to help guide you along the process.  

0 to 4 weeks:

A newborn this age needs to sleep every hour or so, due to the high level of brain development and growth. She must shut down due to the stimulation that being awake creates. At this age, your baby can’t fully distinguish day from night until about around 8 weeks. There is no such thing as spoiling your baby too much. Holding her to sleep is mostly the norm.

5 to 8 weeks:

Night biorhythms begin to emerge and your baby’s brain starts organizing nighttime sleep. She can sleep up to 4 or 5 hour stretches at night. You can help her distinguish between day and night as she begins to establish her natural circadian rhythms. The brain takes longer in sorting out daytime sleep, so napping will remain a little disorganized until around 12 weeks. Make sure your baby doesn’t stay awake more than 2 hours, as this will over stimulate her.

9 to 12 weeks:

Her daytime sleep is more structured with regular naps, and she can be awake for 3-hour stretches. She now requires deeper sleep, which her brain can’t perform if she is in motion (e.g., in a swing or stroller). Begin to gently adjust and mold her rhythm into a flexible schedule and create a bedtime routine for nap and night. The routine helps create familiarity and structures a transition from awake time to sleep time.

Fourth and Fifth months:

Neurologically, the character of your baby’s sleep is changing as melatonin secretion begins to rise, increasing non-REM sleep. This means she now sleeps more deeply than a newborn. Her partial arousals are more distinct and she feels more awake during them. This is an excellent time to begin sleep coaching your baby, as bad sleep habits aren’t deeply ingrained, she is more receptive to a predictable schedule, and she has the ability to soothe herself.

Nine to Twelve Months:

Your baby now will need an average of 11 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night and 3 hours during the day. The length between waking from the last nap to going to bed at night should not exceed 4 hours. If your baby has more than 3-4 hours between the end of the last nap and bedtime, she can become overtired. She’ll have a harder time falling asleep at bedtime, she’ll wake up more often in the middle of the night, and she’ll more likely have early risings. By this age, you should have completely eliminated night feedings. 

Thirteen to Eighteen Months:

At this age your child needs an average of 11 hours of interrupted sleep at night and 2 – 2.5 hours of daytime sleep. Most children transition from two to one nap a day.

Planning Your Next Family Trip

It’s already starting to feel like summer around here in Miami. School’s almost out, and the days are getting longer and warmer. Most of you are already planning ahead for that summer trip (not vacation, as we know when we travel with our kids). Of course, traveling with younger kids is always harder, but doesn’t always have to be if you can prepare yourself accordingly. Here are my top 5 suggestions in helping make your travel plans smoother.

1.     Departure Travel Time: If you have a child that still naps, you want to try to book your flight (or departure time) around nap times. Having your child nap during the flight or car ride will not only make the travel time easier for you, but will help your child adjust to arriving to a new place without being overtired. Many parents are concerned with how to nap their baby. On the plane, anything goes! You can hold, rock, feed, or even put your little one in a carrier and walk the isle back and forth if you have to. This will not create bad habits, as it’s only a one-time scenario while traveling. Try to avoid flying in the later afternoon, which will bring them to a later bedtime in a new place. They will need time to adjust to their new sleep setting first (see below #2, and you don’t want to get there too late.  

2.     Sleep Space: When deciding on where you will stay, try to figure out where your baby will sleep. She does not need her own room, but if you can set up a pack-n-play in the corner or hallway of the room (away from the bed), it will help. If your child normally sleeps in a crib at home, find out if your hotel provides one, and if not make sure to bring your own pack-n-play. There are also companies that rent out baby gear. Once you get to your new sleep space, make sure to set hers up with her crib sheets, toys and blankies. Have her play in and around the area so she can familiarize herself with it before bedtime.

3.     Child’s Sleep Essentials: Because you will be an unfamiliar place you want to make sure to bring as much of her sleep essentials as possible. A few good items would be: crib sheets, blankies, pacifiers, her regular bedtime books, and even a few of her favorite toys. Think of what your bedtime routine looks like at home and try to bring all the essentials that are part of it. You want to make sure she feels comfortable in her sleep space.

4.     Adjust To New Time: When traveling to a different time zone, your little one will need to adjust her circadian rhythm to the new time. It is suggested to adjust to the new time immediately upon arrival. Make sure to feed and sleep her with the new time as soon as you arrive! If you arrive during the day, expose her to sunlight to help adjust her rhythm. Jetlag can last a good 3-5 days, so hang in there if those first few nights back home are rough.

5.     Remain Consistent Yet Flexible: Our kids thrive on routine and predictability. They like to know what’s coming up ahead without the surprise and the unknown. This is why it’s recommended to keep to a schedule and routine daily when at home. However, it’s very hard to keep to the exact schedule when traveling, so don’t worry! Try to at least keep to the same feeding and sleeping times as best as you can. If you’re out and about and it’s time for a nap, try to sleep your child in the stroller, car, or in any means possible. Just because you aren’t home doesn’t mean she doesn’t need a nap. Adjust bedtime earlier if it’s been a day where she hasn’t napped well. If you’ve spent too many days out where all naps were short, try to stay back one day so she can nap in her sleep space and catch up on sleep. And most importantly, continue putting your child down awake at bedtime and nap time and respond consistently. If she’s between the ages of 9 months - 2 years old, she may be a little scared of her new sleep setting, and not understand what’s going on. You can provide extra support, but make sure you don’t go back to old bad habits. You can sit by her crib to provide comfort, but allow her to put herself to sleep.

Common Sleep Regressions

Sleep regressions are very common with babies, especially the first two years of their lives. Primarily, your child was sleeping well for a while, and then all of a sudden their sleep starts falling apart. Most often, sleep regressions are caused by teething, travel, or when they get sick. Developmental milestones and leaps that your child will reach at certain ages will also cause them. They can last anywhere from a few days to a few weeks, which makes it even harder for those tired parents that were once sleeping well.

Below is a list of common sleep regressions by age:

3,6,9 weeks: Growth spurts During this time your newborn will be going through growth spurts, which lead to increase in hunger and fussiness, and in turn more wake ups at night. Their body is rapidly changing and adjusting those first few months, so the constant small feeds are sometimes necessary.

3 -4 months: “The 4-month regression” This regression is a big one for these little guys as they are going through a lot at this time. At about 3 months they go through another growth spurt, which can lead to more wake ups in hunger. They are starting to become more awake and alert at this time, which causes them to be more distractible. During this time they begin to reach their first milestone, which is rolling over. Some will do it sooner rather than later, and just practicing and trying to roll over can disrupt sleep. They will begin to roll one way and then get stuck and not be able to roll the other way. It’s suggested to do a lot of tummy time at this age to get them stronger and able to learn how to roll over both ways. Also, many parents at this age start seeing it harder and harder to get their child down to sleep. What used to work, no longer works. Some babies start breaking free from their swaddles, or the holding/rocking to sleep no longer soothes your baby. And finally, as they get closer to 4-5 months your baby will begin to secrete melatonin, which physiologically can cause some changes in their body as well.

6 months: At this age, there are quite a few reasons why your baby is going through a regression. First and foremost, they are going through another growth spurt. I know, many these first few months! Secondly, they are going through another developmental milestone that at this point is allowing them to begin to be more mobile. They have mastered the rolling over part, and now working on sitting up on their own, and perhaps beginning signs of crawling. When they go through a developmental milestone it can cause more wake ups as they are actually doing more light sleep (NON-REM) at night, rather than deep sleep (REM).  For example, many parents will find their baby sitting up in the crib at 3:00 a.m. crying because they want to go back to sleep, but just don’t know how to lie back down. When they are trying to master the crawling, they will get on all fours and rock back and forth, which can a disruption in their sleep. And finally, they will go through their first separation anxiety peak. With more mobility and awareness, your child is trying to understand the world around her and how you still exist even though she doesn’t see you (object permanence). Where she used to go down easily at bedtime, now will cry for a few minutes as you leave the room because she is going through a separation anxiety peak.

8-10 months: “The 9-month regression” Just like in the previous regression, your little one is going through her (last) growth spurt at 9 months. She is also going through another developmental leap of learning how to pull herself up, so now when you go to get her out of her crib, she may be already standing waiting for you. Pulling up and learning how to go from standing to sitting, and then laying down is a developmental leap that will definitely affect sleep. You want to practice a lot during the day. Have your little one hold onto the sofa or coffee table and play a game to teach her how to sit back down and stand back up. Make sure not to get into the habit of helping her too much in the middle of the night.

12 months: With yet another milestone comes another separation anxiety peak. Around the age of 12 months, your little one will begin walking, which causes the most disruption in sleep. A lot of parents will see sleep begin to fall apart even before they are actually walking. Like any other milestone, make sure you practice a lot during the day and leave her be in the middle of the night. She may want to start practicing at night and do it on her own.

18 months: Around this age your child’s vocabulary will start increasing. Their receptive language (what she understands) is likely to be more advanced than her expressive language (what she can articulate), so make sure to constantly talk to her and explain to her what’s going on. She is entering toddlerhood, which can bring a need for boundaries and rules as she goes about learning how things evolve around her. Your toddler thrives on predictability (in everything) so make sure to stay consistent in your bedtime and middle of the night responses.

2 years old: As your toddler becomes more verbal and more aware of her surroundings she will go through a regression often linked to this as well as a separation anxiety peak. Often at this age, toddlers will also be potty-trained, which can through a loop for the night sleep. Just remember that potty training is only for the day, and not for night sleep. This will happen on their own, so don’t try to enforce night training.

So by now you may be asking yourself, how do I handle so many sleep regressions those first two years? Not to worry, not all kids experience a full regression at each of these stages, and some won’t even last that long. When you do realize your child is going through a sleep regression, fear not, it will subside. The most important part is to keep calm and respond consistently without creating new sleep crutches. You can always go in and check on your little one, but once you have determined that your child is OK and there’s not much you can do, it’s sometime best to leave them be. More practice during the day with those developmental milestones so that it is easier for them at night. If you find yourself needing more help through these regressions, contact me and we can set up a time to talk.

How To Handle Holiday Travel

It’s that time of the year again! Holidays, New Year’s, school is out, and some are even taking vacations and family trips. While it’s great to take a break from the daily routine and get away, with the little ones this often means more work than not. Breaking from their regular routine can cause some hiccups along the way, especially with their sleep. It’s hard to keep to their schedule, but sometimes even the smallest things we can do to maintain normality will help avoid the major regressions and make it a little “easier” to travel.

Below are a few of my recommendations to help avoid major sleep regressions while traveling:

1. Book your travel around nap times: If your baby still naps, try to schedule the flight or drive around his naptime. Ideally he would nap on the go, so he can catch up on some of the day sleep that he needs.

2. Sleep Space: Often times when traveling it’s hard to accommodate everyone’s sleep space, especially when staying at a relative’s house. If possible, bring a travel pack-n-play for your little one so that you don’t start creating a new habit of co-sleeping. If there’s no extra room for your baby, try to set up a sleep space as best as you can. Perhaps a corner, a hallway, or even a breathable walk-in closet with the door open. Try to create the environment that is most conducive to sleeping; like making it dark, no screens/TV’s, and the right temperature.

3. Bring the essentials: Trying to replicate his sleep environment will help with the transition to the new space. Consider packing his crib sheets, a few extra loveys and pacifiers, his white noise machine and if possible, a few of his favorite books and toys.

4. Try to keep to the schedule with a little flexibility: Keeping to your child’s schedule and routine while being on vacation is hard, especially now with the holidays. We tend to be up later, have more family gatherings and meals; we’re even out sightseeing the whole day. You can still try to keep to his feeding and nap schedule as best as you can in order to avoid major tantrums. If there’s no time change, it should be easier to stop for a quick lunch when he needs it, or when it’s nap time, perhaps take him for a stroll in the car/stroller if you aren’t home. Ideally, the more naps you can offer your child in his crib, the better, as this will allow for longer/deeper sleep. If you know you’ll be out all day, try to squeeze in his morning nap at home before you go out. If his naps were short and on the go during the day, try to come home for an earlier bedtime.

5. Give some time to acclimate to new sleep space: When arriving to your new location, try to give your child some time to get used to the new space. Perhaps take out some toys and books, and allow your child to crawl/walk around the room, play, and familiarize himself so that when bedtime comes around, he’s already used to the new environment. 

Try to enjoy this time with your loved ones as best as you can. Travel and change will always cause some regression, but nothing that can’t be fixed once home. Try to stick to the tips mentioned above, and when you’re back home, more importantly, make sure to go back to your regular sleep habits.

Nightmares & Night Terrors

Watching your child wake in the middle of the night screaming and crying from a nightmare is hard to do. We want to be able to calm our child down and reassure them that everything’s OK. But often times, what your child may be experiencing isn’t a nightmare, but a night terror. Many of my Clients confuse night terrors and nightmares, and then in turn don’t know how to respond and avoid them from happening again. It’s important to know what causes a nightmare and night terror, and how to respond to your child for each scenario.

Nightmares:

Nightmares occur when your child is dreaming in REM sleep, which happens at the end of the sleep cycle. These often start happening between the ages of 2-5 when their imagination starts growing, and they are learning the difference between what’s real and what’s not. When your child is having a nightmare they will call for you, and seek for your comfort. They will be awake and able to communicate what is bothering them, and the following morning they can continue expressing their feelings about what happened the night before. It may take some time to comfort them in the middle of the night, but eventually with some reassurance they will calm down. Nightmares are very common and are apart of a child’s development. Of course, nightmares are more common after a scary situation or if your child has recently gone through a tough situation.

Make sure to:

1. Avoid TV and screens 1 hour before bedtime.

2. Avoid scary shows, videos, games, and books.

3. Respond to your child when she’s having a nightmare, quickly and reassure her.

4. Have your child get enough sleep, as being overtired can increase nightmares.

 Night Terrors:

Unlike nightmares, when your child is experiencing a night terror she will not be aware or conscious of it, nor will she remember it the next day. Night terrors occur during NON-REM sleep (coming out of the deep part of sleep), usually within 2 hours of her falling asleep. Night terrors are NOT nightmares; they are not bad dreams and do not occur during the “dream part of sleep.” It is mainly your child getting “stuck” transitioning from one sleep cycle to the next. Night terrors also sometimes occur during a developmental leap. They are more common in boys, and occur in 5% of all children.

Here your child will also scream or cry out and appear a little anxious. However in this case, your child is often inconsolable. Whatever you try to do to calm your child down just doesn’t work; she doesn’t seem to be responding to your voice or hugs. A night terror usually doesn’t last more than about 15 minutes. The good thing is your child will not remember this the next morning. Ideally, since your child isn’t really awake, you are to leave your child be and let her transition to the next sleep cycle on her own. Often interfering can cause more harm, so just monitor her from afar making sure she’s safe through the episode and not getting hurt (i.e. falling out of bed).

Make sure to:

1. Keep your child on a regular sleep schedule, as lack of sleep can cause night terrors.

2. Allow for an earlier bedtime (even if by only 30 minutes) so your child can catch up on sleep.

3. Avoid screens 1 hour before bedtime.

4. If your child is having consistent night terrors, keep a log to see if there’s a pattern.

5. If there’s a pattern to your child’s night terrors (always happening at the same time each night), you can wake her briefly 15 minutes before the time of night terror, in order to help her transition to the sleep cycle without experiencing a night terror.

As you can see night terrors and nightmares are very different, and require different responses. It’s important to understand the difference and be able to identify them in your children.

Dropping The Nap

This summer the time came for my third, and last child to drop his nap. Dropping the nap is always the hardest for the child and the parent. This was the time I would do phone calls, work, clean up the house, or even just take a break and eat a meal and shower. The truth is once my eldest dropped his nap almost 6 years ago, it’s never been the same, you’re “on” the whole day! But somehow this time around, I guess I was more resistant, maybe cause he’s #babyj.

The decision came two-fold; he’s over the age of 3, and he’ll be starting full day school now in August. Unfortunately, our school doesn’t allow for naps at this age, so it was time to remove. Also, I started to see the signs that he was sorta ready; not wanting to go to sleep (but eventually did fall asleep much later), and bedtime started getting later and later.

So how do you know when your child is ready to drop the nap?

1.     He is between the ages of 3-4 years old.

2.     He is fighting the nap.

3.     Taking longer and longer to fall asleep, which leads to a later naptime.

4.     Completely refuses the nap all together – even after leaving him in the crib for a full hour.

5.     Bedtime has now become an issue, where he is not ready to sleep and/or falling asleep much later and later (because nap started too late).

How do you remove the nap?

· Don’t go cold turkey: It’s very hard for your child to go from nap to no nap. Going 12 hour days can become exhausting and they will need a nap every so often to catch up.

· Shorten nap: If your child is falling asleep, just doing it later, make sure to cut the nap short. Don’t allow your child to take a 2-hour nap starting at 2:00 as that will definitely push bedtime much later. Wake him up after 45 minutes.

· Catch up naps: Offer a nap every other day so that your child can catch up on sleep. The full days can affect your child’s mood and they will get too tired and cranky. A nap every so often will help him feel rested.

· Quiet time replaces nap: If your child is no longer napping at all, he will still need some downtime. Have your child lay in his crib/bed for some quiet time every day. He can read books or play quietly (with legos, coloring books, or any calm activity), but the idea is that he is alone, in a quiet, non-stimulating space. TV and Ipad’s are not suggested. Quiet time doesn’t need to last a full hour, but even if it’s a few minutes (15-30 a day) it can really help him.

· Move bedtime earlier: When your toddler was napping, bedtime was probably closer to 8:00 p.m. or so. Now that he will no longer be napping, you will find that the afternoons will a little bit of a struggle. Do your best to get the evening routine done a little sooner and have him in bed earlier. By early I mean, anywhere between 6:00 – 7:00 p.m. Once your child is used to being awake the whole day, and is a little older, you can then adjust bedtime to later.

Remember: Removing the nap so he “can sleep longer and better at night” is FALSE. This can actually create the opposite effect. Also, make sure your child is completely refusing and showing signs of dropping his nap for about 1-2 weeks before you remove it completely.

What you need to know about Sleep Training

This is the most common question you will get as the parent of a newborn baby: Does your child sleep through the night? It's not about her favorite toy or whether she likes to take a bath. The first thing on people's minds is whether she sleeps.

We all know that sleep is important for our health. But it’s also important for our being. We can’t be our best selves when we lack sleep. Our relationships with our spouses, with friends, and even with our own kids are compromised when we don’t sleep enough.

The problem is that our babies aren’t born sleeping through the night for 12 hours straight. As newborns, they just can’t sleep for long stretches. And that means our sleep will be broken up too.

The good news is that this doesn’t have to last very long. Once your baby is of “sleep training age” you can work on getting her sleeping better. But how? What does that mean? When? With all these questions we turn to books, internet (be careful with what you read!), friends, pediatricians and then before we know it our heads are spinning because we’ve had so many different opinions thrown at us.  

Here’s what you need to know:

1. Your child might not be ready.  Every child is different, and we can’t expect them all to develop exactly the same way; so too with sleep. Still, there are some guidelines for when you can expect to start sleep training. Anything younger than 4 months is a definite no, and anything after 6 months is a go! Between 4 and 6 months, some parents will find positive results in sleep training their child, but not all. 

2. You don’t have to stop breastfeeding to do sleep training. Many nursing moms feel that they will have to give up nursing in order to get their child sleeping longer and better. This is not true. Speaking as a mom of 3 who nursed all while still doing sleep training, it is possible! You can definitely nurse as long as you want, while doing sleep training. What we work on is removing the nursing to sleep association.

3. Is my only option to do the “Cry It Out” method? No. You do not have to do this method. What you do need to know is that your child will cry for at least part of the learning process. But you do not need to leave her crying by herself the whole night with no response from you. Instead, you can be in the room to comfort your child, while removing all sleep crutches and helping her learn how to put herself to sleep. 

4. So, what does sleep training involve?  When you sleep train your child, you are having her learn how to put herself to sleep at the onset of sleep, so she can do it again--by herself--in the middle of the night. The key is putting her down awake in her crib, and responding consistently throughout the process. If she’s already asleep when she is put down in her crib, she will not have the opportunity to learn how to put herself to sleep. And if you start responding inconsistently (leaving her to cry one time, then later picking her up, and then feeding her, etc.) this will only confuse her more and will result in inconsistent sleep behavior on her part as well.

5. What if my child still needs to feed at night?  You can still improve her sleep! It is commonly recommended to remove all night feeds starting at the age of 6 months; however, there are parents that aren’t ready to do that, and sometimes a pediatrician might recommend keeping them. That’s OK! You can still have your child sleep longer stretches, and feed when needed.

So what’s my next step?

1. Rule out any medical concerns, and get your pediatrician’s approval.

2. Make sure your child is over the age of 19 weeks (adjusted age).

3. Contact me to set up your consultation and we can begin the process!

Here’s to more sleeping babies (and parents!)

How To Handle Daylight Savings

It’s that time again… when we change the clocks, but this time an hour ahead. This change isn’t as bad as when we moved our clocks back an hour last Fall. However, the 1 hour difference still makes an impact on our little one’s schedule.
 
Often times parents are happy with this change, as the early risers are now waking up later. For others, it may not have an effect at all. Regardless, you want to know what to do should it change your child’s sleep pattern.
 
What Can I Do?

• Gradual Approach: For the younger babies, or the children who have a harder time adjusting to the change, this option may be best. Starting the week before you want to make sure you start moving your child’s schedule by 15 minute increments. That means all feeds and naps should be pushed earlier by 15 minutes every couple of days. So that while you may have your child going to sleep earlier for a few days, by the time Sunday comes around your child will be adjusted to the new time.

• Cold Turkey Approach: With this approach, you automatically adjust to the new time on Sunday. As soon as your child wakes up that morning, you go by their regular schedule according to the new time.

Additional Tips:

• You can help adjusting your child’s circadian rhythm by the exposure to light. You want to make sure you avoid bright lights/sunlight in the evening ex: TV’s and screens. And in turn in the morning when they do wake up, you can begin your day any time after 6:00 a.m. and expose them to the sunlight outside.

• Extra shades/black out curtains are crucial this time around. It will get darker later at night, and brighter earlier in the morning. Try to cover as best as possible those windows, so that no sunlight comes in.

• Remember that with the new time change, we will be losing an hour, so those first few days when you put your child down at the new bedtime, they may not be ready to go to sleep just yet. Try to be a little flexible perhaps in the timing of bedtime those first few nights, and always remember to respond consistently.