Sleep Associations: What they are and their impact on sleep
Sleep crutches, also known as sleep associations or sometimes referred to as sleep props, are anything that we do for or to our child in order to help her fall asleep at the onset of sleep.
Some examples of sleep crutches are:
Rocking
Feeding (both breastfeeding and bottle feeding)
Holding your child’s hand to sleep
Patting/rubbing her to sleep
Laying down with the child to fall asleep at bedtime
(I do want to be very clear that if you are using a sleep crutch to get your child to sleep and it is working for you and/or your family, then this is not something that you have to change. It is only something to be changed if it is no longer working for you.)
Babies under 4-6 months often need sleep crutches
Babies are not born with the immediate ability to self-soothe and regulate themselves, this comes once they are older. In those first few months, you will need to help them do this, and by doing so you will NEED to hold, rock, feed, and anything else to get your child sleeping. This is normal and it important to do those things because this is how your baby starts to trust that if he/she needs something, you will be there.
When sleep crutches stop working
BUT…as children move past the 4-6 month mark, they start to become very capable of falling asleep independently. In many instances, these sleep crutches will stop working. This means that you may feed your baby and he/she falls asleep, but when you go to make the transfer to a sleeping space, your baby wakes up. Or, now your baby wakes after 30 or 45 minutes or every 2 hours throughout the night. Or rocking your child to sleep takes double the time. This is can be an indication that your child is starting to become capable of falling asleep independently. When this happens, you can start to teach your child how to fall asleep without the help of the sleep association.
How do you stop using sleep crutches?
This is where sleep coaching often comes in so that children can start to develop the skill of falling asleep on their own at bedtime and then use that skill repeatedly throughout the night to go back to sleep. Sleep coaching does not have to be a horrible and dreaded process. In many cases, parents can be involved in a way that is both supportive, nurturing and eye opening. Parents tell me all the time that they were amazed by the fact that they could see their child learning this new skill right in front of their eyes.
Contact to schedule an initial call so we can talk about how to work together in removing those sleep associations, and start creating healthier sleep habits.