Getting Sleep Back On Track After Vacation

Summer is always a love/hate relationship for me. I LOVE the fact that there’s no schedule, no running around with carpool and pick-ups, and no waking up early. The feeling of not being rushed all day. Late nights, lazy days, and sometimes even getting to travel, is a good way to reset minds and bodies in the middle of the year. Of course, there’s always the hard part; when my kids are home and I’m trying to get any sort of work done and I keep hearing the words “I’m bored” or “I’m hungry.”  

Regardless of how you’ve spent your summer days, getting back into the routine of early morning wake ups, and going to school, can sometimes be a hard adjustment for all.

 But don’t worry! You can get you and your family back on track. Below are a few tips:

1.     Allow some days of ‘down time’ between travel and school starting: Try scheduling your return flight a few days before school starts to acclimate being home. This is helpful if you’re coming back from a different time zone and need some time for the little ones to adjust to the new time. If you’re able to, try having your kids do some ‘down time’ days prior to school starting. A few days back at home, where there’s no travel, no late nights, and sometimes even no daily runaround can help everyone settle down.

2.     Go back to your normal bedtime routines: Make sure to go back to your regular bedtime routine to help your child wind down and transition to an earlier sleep schedule. A lot of times during the summer we’re out late and skipping our regular bedtime routine. We have late night BBQ’s, or traveling through the city and hanging out with family and friends, that we want to take advantage of as much sunlight as possible. Often, kids are going to sleep much later than the norm. Bedtime routines are often skipped, and bringing back the consistent and predictable bedtime routine will help our little ones transition smoother.

3.     Adjust schedules: From day one when you return from your travels, make sure to back to your child’s regular sleep schedule. Naps, wake windows, bedtimes, are all very important to adhere to, to make sure you have a smooth transition. No more late bedtimes or late wake ups. Try waking your little one up in the morning, so they don’t sleep in late anymore. Try to enforce earlier bedtimes, by slowly moving bedtime earlier. If possible, try to create a little more of a structure throughout the day, especially in the morning wake up and right before bedtime (like no late night TV and screens).

4.     Restart sleep training: This one is sometimes the hardest part. You’ve had a great sleeper before traveling, and you now have a child with a sleep regression. If you’ve created new habits around sleep, that are different than what your child is used to at home, it is possible that your child will need a reminder of what they are capable of doing and what the sleep expectations are at home. For example, if you found yourself rocking your child to sleep, co-sleeping, or you’ve even introduced a new night feed, you will need to remove these new sleep crutches with sleep training. Often, for those who were great sleepers before, this shouldn’t take long.

If you’re finding it hard to get back into the swing of things, let’s talk! Don’t worry! You can always travel and enjoy your summer and get back into the school routine. I’m here to help you through that process!

two-year-old & Sleep Issues

Toddlerhood can sometimes be hard, but at the same time it can be really amazing to watch your child unfold. Seeing your little one transform into a little person with interests, wants, and needs, is often fun to watch. Around 2 years old, their speech really develops and your child goes from single phrases, to putting words together into sentences. Their brain is developing rapidly, and they have a newfound way of communicating. However, this can also cause tantrums and frustrations in their daily life. Sometimes parents will also see it affect their sleep, as the kids now knows how to stall and request more at bedtime. I often get calls from parents who’ve had ‘perfect sleepers’ and all of a sudden, their child is no longer sleeping.

What are common issues that arise at this age and how can you address them?

Stalling & Protesting Bedtime:

 My husband always used to ask me ‘why are the boys protesting brushing their teeth, if it’s something they do EVERY night and they know they need to? It’s not like it’s something new!?’ And it’s so true! Why are they protesting?....This is mostly your little one asserting their independence. Using their new verbal skills to see if they can get away with doing something they don’t want to do. Doing something that means it’s time to end the day. Some toddlers will push back on bedtime, by requesting more and more books, or one more hug. Or even some water and trips to the bathroom. So how can you ensure that bedtime doesn’t fall apart?

1. Set up a routine: If you haven’t done so already, set up a regular bedtime routine that helps your child transition from playtime to sleepy time. This is crucial, as your child needs time to transition and unwind before sleep.

2. Make it short: Don’t deviate from the routine. Make sure you have the routine set up and while you don’t want to rush through it, you don’t want to let it run too long. Once the routine starts, it shouldn’t take more than about 15 minutes (teeth brushing, potty, books, cuddles, and tuck in).

3. Make it fun: Bringing some spark into the routine always helps keep it a little less stressful, especially at the end of the day when everyone is tired.

4. Provide choices: Having your child have some input on the routine, helps them feel independent, and part of the routine. Rather than being told what to do with everything. Have your child choose the books, or where you’ll be reading them.

5. Set limits and follow through: While this is the hardest, you need to make sure you set up limits. If you’ve told your little one there’s only 2 books and now they’re requesting one more, you cannot give in! Once you give in once, this just opens the door to more requests.

Bedtime Callbacks:

 With this newfound verbal requests, often comes your little one requesting you to come back after you’ve tucked them in. I remember with my two older boys, they always knew what to say to my husband and I to get us to come back. To my husband: ‘let me tell you what I did today.’ To me: ‘one more hug mami.’ Bedtime is often hard as it signifies the day is ending and for our little ones it includes separating from mom and dad. They know how to start requesting different things to get you to come back, and we often fall into the trap.

1. Respond consistently: This is always the number one rule in ensuring your child’s sleep doesn’t fall apart. Whether that means you’re doing a quick check/reassurance, or telling your child you’ll check on them before you go to sleep. Try not to engage in the requests and do a quick check in without starting to scream and negotiate.   

2. Call out last one: While reading the last book in the routine, or while tucking your little one in and giving  a hug, remind your child that it’s the ‘last one (hug, tuck, kiss etc).’ Giving them a heads up that there will be no more books, kisses, tuck ins etc., can help avoid the more requests later on.

3. Don’t give into requests: And of course, do NOT do what your child is asking you to do. Often we fall into the trap. And we must be careful to tell our kids we will not do it, and stick to our words. You can redirect and say ‘we can read that book tomorrow morning at breakfast.’

You’re Stuck Laying Down With Them To Fall Asleep:

 Around this age, many parents end up moving their little one into a bed. As you all know, I don’t suggest doing this until your child is 3 years old, or older. The change from a crib to an open bed, is a very big one. Sometimes our little ones gets scared, or starts coming out of their bed and this is when parents will often end up lying down with their child in their bed to get them to stay and fall asleep. Try not to start this habit, as it can cause sleep regressions.

1. Behavioral Clock: Behavioral Clocks are a great tool in teaching your child when is bedtime and when is wake up time. A nightlight that teaches your child when it’s OK to come out of the bed/room and when it’s OK start their day.

2. Gate or latch: I don’t suggest locking the door to your child’s door, as this can cause some anxiety at this age. Rather, I suggest putting up a gate or latch at the door, so the door can remain open (or open enough) so your little one can see the hallway and some light, and feel comfortable in the room.

3. Reassurance: While we want to reassure, we have to be careful on what we’re doing to reassure. Responding is necessary, but how you do it should be minimal or enough not to create a new sleep crutch. Whether that’s going to the doorway to remind them they’re OK and it’s bedtime. Or sitting in the room by the door to comfort them. Of course, if you do decide to do this method, you have to make sure you work your way out of the room so that you’re not stuck sitting in the room all night.

Did your little one just turn 2? Are you seeing any of these new habits start forming? Let’s talk!

The 4-month Sleep Regression

You’ve survived the newborn stage, or so you think. Your baby is about to turn 4 months old, and you are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Your baby is now sleeping longer stretches, with perhaps one or so wake up, and you get a sense of a schedule forming. And then BAM! Your baby hits the 4-month regression and it all just falls apart. More wake ups. Shorter naps. And everything you have strongly worked on, starts to fall apart. While with some babies it’s more noticeable than with others, it is very common for your baby to hit this 4-month regression. This is the exact definition of a sleep regression. When sleep was going well, and then something causes a sudden change in the baby’s sleeping (and/or feeding) patterns.

Why is there a 4-month regression?

When your baby turns 4 months old (or around 16 weeks) there’s a lot of changes going on in her body. She is going through a developmental burst, where she is becoming more awake and alert. She is becoming more interested in her surroundings, and starts engaging and focusing on all the exciting things. Often Moms will start noticing that it’s harder to actually nurse their baby as they start getting easily distracted.  Developmentally some babies will start rolling over more, but getting stuck in their position as they can’t roll themselves back. This new-found milestone (as with others) will cause more wake ups.

The reason why this regression is one of the hardest is, because what used to so easily work to get your baby to sleep, is no longer working. Many will find their baby fighting and resisting the rocking and holding to sleep. Or after a feed, she will stay wide awake and won’t fall asleep during the feed, where she once used to so easily. While this can be frustrating because it means that you have less ability to soothe your baby to sleep, it is a sign that your child is growing and developing and probably needs less intervention or help from you. This is not to say that all babies are ready to soothe independently at this point, but they are nearing that point.

When does this regression typically happen and how long does it last?

This regression happens at the 4-month mark, 16 weeks, but there are some parents who start noticing at the 15-week mark. Remember if your baby was born early, it would be her adjusted age of 15/16 weeks. Usually sleep regressions last 2 or so weeks. However, it can sometimes last up to 1 month.  

How to get through the 4-month regression and over to the other side.

During the 4-month regression, you will probably need to be more in a survival mode. Just like you have been doing up until now, you will need to respond to your baby as needed. If that means more feeds at night, then do so. Do not be afraid of introducing feeds that she wasn’t needing before, as this is just temporary to get through the regression. Some will in fact be going through a growth spurt, which is why you will be seeing an increase in night feeds. You can always work on removing those feeds later when she is ready. Trying to get your little one to sleep might be harder now, so try to think of new options. Try to explore of other ways to help her soothe and stay asleep. You want to avoid overstimulation, even though it seems like your baby is interested in playing more. Too much stimulation can make it harder for your baby to winddown to sleep. Because your little one is more alert, those on-the-go naps will be harder. Make sure to avoid too many of those, and try to get her sleeping in a dark/quiet room. If you are out and about, try to cover the stroller or car seat, lower the music, and perhaps have the travel white noise machine on to make it easier for her to fall asleep.   

Once your little one has come out of the regression, which is usually around 18 weeks, is when you can start to get sleep back in order. While the regression is difficult, with more wake ups, shorter naps, and probably more feeds than usual, at 18 weeks is when you want to work on teaching your child self-soothing skills. To have your baby learn how to put herself to sleep independently and not rely on all the tricks you’ve been doing, will help improve her overall sleep. Where you have been rocking, holding, or feeding your baby to sleep, you will now need to put your baby down awake and have her learn to put herself to sleep. Once she learns how to do this at bedtime, she will be able to do this on her own for all other wake ups in the middle of the night, or during naps. The ability to self-soothe is vital in getting her to sleep longer stretches and connect the sleep cycles on her own, without relying on you. This is what sleep training is about; coaching your baby to learn the capability of self-soothing.

Is your little one going through a 4-month regression and need help? Let’s talk!

Is Your Little One Trying to Climb Out?

I will NEVER forget the day that my second son, who was under the age of 2 at the time, jumping out of his crib! He was sleep trained at a young age, and was sleeping perfectly fine. But one early morning all of a sudden I heard a loud thump (we had wooden floors then). Of course, we tried to put him back in, but he kept jumping out and so that’s when we transitioned him into a bed.

But if you have a little one who hasn’t fully jumped out yet, there’s hope! If your baby is jus lifting a leg, or at least seems interested in doing so, then you are at the right place! So what do you do when your little one starts lifting that leg up to try to jump out?

Let’s just say before we go on, that if your child has continued to jump out and now it’s a safety issue, you must transition him to a toddler bed. You should check out my other post on how to transition to your child to their bed here.

But what can you do to avoid your child from fully jumping out of the crib? There are some “crib hacks” that you can do to try to keep your child in their crib for a little longer, or at least until they are developmentally ready and able.

1.     Lower the mattress: In this case I don’t mean just to lower it to the lowest setting. I mean, literally lower it all the way down to the floor. Take that spring board that is under the mattress, and put the mattress on the floor. The mattress should still be contained in the crib, but now it’s on the floor. I need to note that if the mattress can easily slide out/move around, then it can become a safety issue and you do not want to do this option.

2.     Turn that crib around: Does your child’s crib have the back part higher than the front? Are you able to turn the crib around, so that the lower part is facing the wall and the higher is facing out? Yes, you have the sides that are lower, but sometimes this is enough to trick the child and they stop lifting that leg!

3.     Move surrounding furniture away: Is your little one using a piece of furniture that is next to the crib to gain leverage? Make sure to move any surrounding pieces of furniture (rocking chair, night stand, book stand) that can be used as a prop to help your child climb out.

4.     Remove bumpers: Get rid of any bumpers/mesh bumpers that may be in your child’s crib. This can be used as an extra leverage to get a little higher (sometimes that’s all they need) to lift that leg up. Even anything inside the crib, like pillows and blankets, are sometimes used to create like a small mountain that can be used for these kids to step on, gain a little leverage, and then climb over.

5.     Sleep Sacks: I STRONGLY recommend these, as this is the safest thing to keep those little legs in. Even if your child hasn’t been using a sleep sack, they are still recommended as they keep their legs contained and unable to lift one up.

6.     Special pijamas: There are special pijamas out there that are different than the sleep sacks, but have the same function. They come with a snap/zipper or are sewn together at the legs to hold those legs tightly together and avoid the legs to separate and lift one up. I would definitely look into those!

7.     Crib tents: Crib tents are super helpful! While they have gone back and forth with recalls, they do help keep the child in the crib. While I do recommend them, I strongly suggest looking up the latest safety recalls/measures as they are often changing.

If you feel like you’ve tried everything, and still at your wits end, I hear you! I was there too!! Let’s talk! Schedule a call here.

12-Month Sleep Regression

Sleep regressions are a scary thought, and as parents we dread the moment it comes. It throws us for a loop because our child was sleeping so well, and now all of a sudden not. This can be frustrating for parents, because after all that hard work in getting your child sleeping well or on a schedule, things completely fall apart, and we feel that we won’t be able to get that good sleep back. But that’s not true! While sleep patterns are disrupted and regressions happen a quite a lot those first couple of years, you can still make sure sleep is intact and it doesn’t all fall apart!

So, what is a sleep regression exactly? A sleep regression is a period when a baby who had been sleeping well, starts sleeping poorly. A change in your child’s sleep patterns. You can see why this is so stressing. Everything is going as planned, and then poof, it all falls apart! It’s especially stressing because this can happen a few times just in those first 2 years of a baby’s life! Sleep regressions usually last a few weeks. However, can last a lot longer if you let it. It’s important to know what can cause sleep regressions and how to cope with them, and handle them, so that your child doesn’t get stuck in one.

Of course, there are a few things that can cause sleep regressions that are beyond our control – like a regression after a sickness or after we travel. But then there are regressions at certain ages based on developmental changes happening. In this case, a common one is around the 12-month mark. Just like all regressions, not ALL kids have a 12-month sleep regression – but most do! If they do, it can last a few weeks. But every child’s situation is different. How long a sleep regression lasts can really depend on the factors causing it:  1. the child’s sleep habits and environment 2. And their overall development.

A way to ensure that it doesn’t last longer than it should, is establishing those healthy sleep habits at a young age and bringing them back as soon as this regression is over. Don’t let the bad habits linger too long, because that will only reinforce the regression and now the bad habits are the “new habits” and the “good habits” are out the door.

Signs to look out for to know your child is going through a regression:

1.     Waking up more often during the night.

2.     Being fussy and having a hard time calming down and getting back to sleep after nighttime awakenings.

3.     Fighting or resisting sleep at bedtime.

4.     Taking shorter naps during the day.

What causes this 12-month sleep regression?

1.     The most common cause is the developmental leap of walking/cruising. While not all start walking at 12 months, some will start a little sooner and some a little later. Regardless, at this age, these kids start getting more mobile and more active and wanting to be up and running all the time.

2.     Not only are they learning how to get around more, their language and social development skills take a big turn here as well. More words, understanding more, and trying to communicate– even if It’s one-word phrases like “ball” “agua.”

3.     The other big one, is separation anxiety peak. At 12 months there’s a big separation anxiety peak that builds up. They don’t want to separate from their parents and where before it was easy leaving them with the nanny or grandma, now it’s getting harder and harder to separate. If you’ve read my other post about separation anxiety peaks, you know this can affect their daytime and nighttime sleep.

4.     Slight changes in sleep needs and wake windows occur here, but most often confuse this with the readiness of transitioning to 1 nap. Yes, wake windows increase slightly, the amount of sleep also drops slightly at this age. But a common mistake around this age, parents confuse their child’s sleep regression with a readiness to drop to 1 nap. This is when their day sleep can completely fall apart, as parents are switching their schedule around.

5.     A small, yet common reason, is also teething – those 1-year molars start coming in, and that’s no fun! If your little one is sensitive to teething, sorry folks! The molars are more painful – they are bigger, square, and more painful, and this can absolutely affect their overall sleep!

So how do we handle regressions, and in particular this 12 month one?

1.     Bedtime routines: If you haven’t already done so, make sure to establish a consistent bedtime routine. Research demonstrates that a stable routine can make it easier for the child to fall asleep and stay asleep.  The bedtime routine allows for that one-on-one bonding time before bed, which helps for those little kiddos going through a separation anxiety peak. It also gives your child time to wind down. Remember they are more alert, aware, active, and they need that wind down period!!

2.     Keep a steady sleep schedule. If you can stick to a consistent schedule for naps and sleep at night, it can help your child adjust and be ready for sleep. Children thrive on consistency. Deviations from “the norm” can make transitions harder and cause regressions to last longer.

3.     Security objects: If your child doesn’t have one already, now is a great time to introduce one. A security object gives your child that sense of feeling safe and secure when going to sleep. Lovies, blankets, or stuffed animals are great options.

But how do you respond to those night wakings? What do you do when your little one starts resisting bedtime and waking up multiple times at night?

1.     Often times if its developmental – not much is needed to be done. Your baby is up and talking or standing – that’s OK. Babies like to practice at night, getting the hang of walking/cruising around. Leave your baby be. No need to go in – as often times going in can make it worse – if your little ones doesn’t need you.

2.     If your baby is teething – you can offer a little more support. Offering some pain relief medicine at bedtime or in the middle of the night, can relieve that pain that’s causing those wake ups. Sometimes even going in and holding your child for a bit as the medicine kicks in, or as the pain gets better, is OK. But remember, as soon as that tooth is out – you can see it- the active part of teething is over, and the pain is gone!

3.     If you notice your little is going through a separation anxiety peak – you will probably need to do a little more to reassure your child. When reassuring your child during the night, don’t turn on the lights, take them out of bed, or otherwise provide stimulation. You can either do a quick check. Try to avoid getting too close when checking on your child, perhaps open the door, show your face and reassure, and then leave.  But if this doesn’t calm her down, you can stay in the room to provide the comfort for your child of not feeling alone. But remember, you will need to also work your way out of the room, so you don’t get stuck in the room every night.

While sleep regressions can be scary, they are manageable and pass within time. Make sure to look out for the signs and always try to get them back on track as soon as you can! If you think your child is going through a sleep regression, let’s talk!

Separation Anxiety and Sleep

Have you noticed your child extra clingy lately? She doesn’t let you leave her playing on her own for one minute? Will cry when you leave her for just one second? This can be that she is going through a separation anxiety peak. Your child will go through these peaks at many points during their first two years (6-9 months, 12 months, 18 months, and 2 years old), as they try to understand object permanence. The act of separating from their parent gets them sad and anxious, as they are still trying to understand "mommy comes back" even though we're separating. "Mommy still exists" even though I don't see her.

But did you know that this can affect sleep and cause sleep regressions? When putting your child down to sleep, she will start crying where she normally doesn't. But that's OK! It's normal! If your child is going through this, you can still respond to her, while still keeping to healthy sleep habits and rules. Sitting by your child to comfort her is OK, but make sure you don't start creating sleep crutches.

A few tips on how to handle the separation anxiety peak and sleep issues:

1. Security Object: Does your little one have a lovey or security object? If not, this is a great time to introduce one. A small, breathable, light lovey that she can hold onto can help ease the transition from mommy to the crib.

2. Respond: When your child is going through a separation anxiety peak, it is important to respond to her; she needs to know you are there. Remember, this is her trying to understand you are “still there” even tough she can’t see you. Whether you choose to go in for a quick check, or stay by their crib to offer reassurance. Either way, it is important for your child to be able to see you once you have put her in the crib.

3. Consistency: The key to not letting this affect your child’s sleep long term, is to decide on one way you want to respond to your child, and stick to it! If one day you leave your child crying, and then the next time you come in and hold her to sleep, can cause confusion. Remember to stay consistent in how you respond.

4. Play games: Peek-a-boo is a common game we play with our little ones. But what parents don’t realize is that this is an essential game to help them understand object permanence. “I hear mommy, but I don’t see her, oh now I do!” Try to play lots of peek-a-boo, and even hide-and-seek for the older ones!

5. Read Books: There are a lot of great visual books to help your child through this process. Reading to her and showing pictures of the actual “separation” can help your child understand what’s going on. Here’s a great list of books.

Hang in there! These are just peaks that your child will go through that are important for their development. We want them to go through this, experience, and learn from this. If you find that you are having troubles with your child’s sleep, contact me. Let’s talk!!

My Baby Is Sick And Now His Sleep Is Falling Apart...

I often get calls from parents who have fallen into a major regression from a small cold their child had months ago. Unfortunately, our kids will get sick many more times than we’d like and many times, depending on how sick they are, schedules, routines, and even sleep will fall apart. However, it doesn’t always have to be that case!

What to do when your child is sick

• Even when your child is sick, it is suggested to put your child down awake at bedtime.  Chances are, even though he is feeling sick, he will still be able to go down into the crib awake and put himself to sleep. Being able to fall asleep on his own makes his job of moving through sleep cycles in the middle of the night much easier. 

• If your child wakes up in the middle of the night (more then just moaning and fussing and then falling back to sleep relatively quickly) when he is sick, always respond because this is the only way you will know if there is something that needs more intervention.  Maybe he has a fever or has thrown up.  I always recommend doing a parenting check when children who, otherwise sleep well, suddenly wake in the middle of the night.

• If you have to do something to help your child be more comfortable in the middle of the night, you can! Sometimes with a coughing spell they need to be held upright, or with a fever, he may need Tylenol. As your child starts to feel a bit better, try putting him back in his bed so he can put himself back to sleep. In many cases, when children are good sleepers and are most comfortable in their own bed, they actually want to go back to bed after a wake up due to illness. 

• If your child is so sick that you feel like you can’t leave him on his own, I always recommend staying in your child’s room with him rather then bringing him to your bed.  While putting your child in your bed to sleep may not cause a problem if it happens once or twice, as he gets older, this can become a habit that is harder to break once he is feeling better.  I always say, it’s easier to remove yourself from his room, but not the other way around.

• If whatever illness your child has come down with is so miserable that any form of independent sleep throughout the illness is out of the question and you need to provide far more assistance with sleep then you normally would, then you will have a bit of work to dig yourself back out of the “illness hole” that you may have fallen into once your child recovers.  I find that the farther you fall, so to speak, the harder it is to get back on track.  For example, if your child was previously sleeping entirely independently before the illness and now has become accustomed to being held to sleep at bedtime and needs help going back to sleep overnight, you will have a harder climb to get on track. Once you are feeling confident that your child is feeling better, you will want to work on getting things back on track as quickly as possible!!! This may mean you need to return to whatever sleep training methods you used if you previously sleep trained your child.  While you will likely be met with some resistance initially, when your child remembers that you will respond consistently, things will start to improve and you will have your champion sleeper back. 

Have you found yourself in a “sickness regression”? Has it been weeks or months since your child is feeling better, yet sleep still isn’t restored? Call me and let’s talk!

Why Was My Child Up Last Night?

The act of sleep training teaches your child how to put herself to sleep and back to sleep on her own. If she does it at bedtime, she will be able to do it in the middle of the night. But what parents need to understand is that she will still wake up in the middle of the night, as we all do and that’s how our sleep rhythms work. However, with a sleep trained child, she will quickly go back to sleep on her own. There are some instances where your child will wake up more than usual, for either longer periods of times or more frequently. Parents go into panic mode and start responding inconsistently, which in the end can cause bad habits.  

It’s good to be prepared and know what may cause these long wake ups in your child in case you find yourself in this same situation.

1. Medical Issues – There are some medical issues that can cause sudden sleep disruptions. If your child comes down with a bad cough or cold, stomach issues, virus, flu, or anything like that, she will of course wake up more. However, sometimes there are other medical issues that can cause constant sleep problems, such as: allergies, reflux, apnea, and RLS. If you suspect your child is having any serious medical issue that can be causing frequent night wake ups, make sure to follow up with your pediatrician.

2. Sleep Crutches – Are you doing anything to or for your child to help him go back to sleep at night? Sometimes when our little one wakes up, we run in too quickly and respond right away or do too much. Are you finding yourself rubbing her back until she falls asleep? Are you taking her out to rock her a little? Are you just going to tuck her in or give her some water? Are you reinserting the pacifier for her, even though she can do it on her own? A lot of times we tend to do too much. Even though it’s a quick fix, what’s a short/quick solution can turn into a long-term problem.  

3. Schedule – Your child’s daytime schedule can really affect her nighttime sleep. While they need their daytime sleep, sometimes getting too much sleep can cut into their total required sleep and take away from their night sleep. Similarly, if they didn’t sleep enough sleep during the day, you will have an overtired child at night, which causes a lot of light sleep and frequent wake ups. Make sure to follow the required amount of day/night sleep as well as the correct awake windows to avoid night disruptions.

4. Sleep Regression – Your child will be going through a lot of changes those first couple of years. Everything from growth spurts to developmental milestones, which will affect her sleep. It’s important to remain consistent with her sleep habits through these regressions. For example, if they are learning how to go from standing to sitting, practice a lot during the day, but when it comes to night sleep, do not assist her too much, let them do it on their own.

If you find that your child is continuing to wake up at night, and you can’t seem to figure out why, contact me to set up your initial FREE call.

Common Sleep Regressions

Sleep regressions are very common with babies, especially the first two years of their lives. Primarily, your child was sleeping well for a while, and then all of a sudden their sleep starts falling apart. Most often, sleep regressions are caused by teething, travel, or when they get sick. Developmental milestones and leaps that your child will reach at certain ages will also cause them. They can last anywhere from a few days to a few weeks, which makes it even harder for those tired parents that were once sleeping well.

Below is a list of common sleep regressions by age:

3,6,9 weeks: Growth spurts During this time your newborn will be going through growth spurts, which lead to increase in hunger and fussiness, and in turn more wake ups at night. Their body is rapidly changing and adjusting those first few months, so the constant small feeds are sometimes necessary.

3 -4 months: “The 4-month regression” This regression is a big one for these little guys as they are going through a lot at this time. At about 3 months they go through another growth spurt, which can lead to more wake ups in hunger. They are starting to become more awake and alert at this time, which causes them to be more distractible. During this time they begin to reach their first milestone, which is rolling over. Some will do it sooner rather than later, and just practicing and trying to roll over can disrupt sleep. They will begin to roll one way and then get stuck and not be able to roll the other way. It’s suggested to do a lot of tummy time at this age to get them stronger and able to learn how to roll over both ways. Also, many parents at this age start seeing it harder and harder to get their child down to sleep. What used to work, no longer works. Some babies start breaking free from their swaddles, or the holding/rocking to sleep no longer soothes your baby. And finally, as they get closer to 4-5 months your baby will begin to secrete melatonin, which physiologically can cause some changes in their body as well.

6 months: At this age, there are quite a few reasons why your baby is going through a regression. First and foremost, they are going through another growth spurt. I know, many these first few months! Secondly, they are going through another developmental milestone that at this point is allowing them to begin to be more mobile. They have mastered the rolling over part, and now working on sitting up on their own, and perhaps beginning signs of crawling. When they go through a developmental milestone it can cause more wake ups as they are actually doing more light sleep (NON-REM) at night, rather than deep sleep (REM).  For example, many parents will find their baby sitting up in the crib at 3:00 a.m. crying because they want to go back to sleep, but just don’t know how to lie back down. When they are trying to master the crawling, they will get on all fours and rock back and forth, which can a disruption in their sleep. And finally, they will go through their first separation anxiety peak. With more mobility and awareness, your child is trying to understand the world around her and how you still exist even though she doesn’t see you (object permanence). Where she used to go down easily at bedtime, now will cry for a few minutes as you leave the room because she is going through a separation anxiety peak.

8-10 months: “The 9-month regression” Just like in the previous regression, your little one is going through her (last) growth spurt at 9 months. She is also going through another developmental leap of learning how to pull herself up, so now when you go to get her out of her crib, she may be already standing waiting for you. Pulling up and learning how to go from standing to sitting, and then laying down is a developmental leap that will definitely affect sleep. You want to practice a lot during the day. Have your little one hold onto the sofa or coffee table and play a game to teach her how to sit back down and stand back up. Make sure not to get into the habit of helping her too much in the middle of the night.

12 months: With yet another milestone comes another separation anxiety peak. Around the age of 12 months, your little one will begin walking, which causes the most disruption in sleep. A lot of parents will see sleep begin to fall apart even before they are actually walking. Like any other milestone, make sure you practice a lot during the day and leave her be in the middle of the night. She may want to start practicing at night and do it on her own.

18 months: Around this age your child’s vocabulary will start increasing. Their receptive language (what she understands) is likely to be more advanced than her expressive language (what she can articulate), so make sure to constantly talk to her and explain to her what’s going on. She is entering toddlerhood, which can bring a need for boundaries and rules as she goes about learning how things evolve around her. Your toddler thrives on predictability (in everything) so make sure to stay consistent in your bedtime and middle of the night responses.

2 years old: As your toddler becomes more verbal and more aware of her surroundings she will go through a regression often linked to this as well as a separation anxiety peak. Often at this age, toddlers will also be potty-trained, which can through a loop for the night sleep. Just remember that potty training is only for the day, and not for night sleep. This will happen on their own, so don’t try to enforce night training.

So by now you may be asking yourself, how do I handle so many sleep regressions those first two years? Not to worry, not all kids experience a full regression at each of these stages, and some won’t even last that long. When you do realize your child is going through a sleep regression, fear not, it will subside. The most important part is to keep calm and respond consistently without creating new sleep crutches. You can always go in and check on your little one, but once you have determined that your child is OK and there’s not much you can do, it’s sometime best to leave them be. More practice during the day with those developmental milestones so that it is easier for them at night. If you find yourself needing more help through these regressions, contact me and we can set up a time to talk.