Issues With Your Toddler's Routine? Try These Tips
Bedtime routines are a strong foundation in setting up healthy sleep habits for your child. It’s what really helps signal our kids that it’s time to go to sleep. It helps them transition from play time/awake time to sleepy time. It signals the brain to continue secreting melatonin, which is that calming, soothing hormone we all produce when we’re sleepy.
Routines in general shouldn’t be too long and there should be one for nap time and one for bedtime. You can start setting up a routine with your little one when she is as young as 6-8 weeks old. And while that routine looks a lot different than when your child is 4 years old, it should have the same foundation; 4 B’s. - Bath, Bottle/Breast, Book, Bed. When your little one is a baby, the second B is breast or bottle. When they are older, it’s brush teeth. And when they are 12 months old you are reading them the book. But when they are 6 years old, they can read the book to you. Regardless of how it’s tweaked along the way, the foundation is set at an early age.
The issue is, is that most parents start finding the routine hard to keep to when their child becomes a toddler and the routine starts falling a part. In general, we all know that toddlers can change everything up, with their newfound idea of wanting independence and control, but many parents see the change also in the sleep routine process. Children start fighting the routine. Procrastinating. Thinking of every excuse to prolong bedtime. More books. Not wanting to go brush their teeth. And so much more. How can you ensure that the routine stays on track and doesn’t fall apart. Check out these tips for each part of the process:
Leading up to the bedtime routine: Ending the fun and announcing that it’s bedtime is always the hardest. Kids don’t want to part with their toys, or turn off the TV and go to sleep. Especially if their siblings and parents are staying awake, while they need to go to sleep. Or if there are guests over, and they are the ones who need to go to sleep and can’t stay up with the rest of the gang.
Make sure the TV/screens are turned off BEFORE you start the routine. So have another ‘activity’ that isn’t screen related once you turn off the TV before it’s time to start the bedtime routine. Whether that’s playing with blocks, coloring, or playing with dolls. Something that they can entertain themselves and hang out with, but not a screen. Screen time can affect the production of melatonin and can cause the opposite affect; hyper and awake. Screens are always the hardest to part with.
Announce that bedtime is coming up but that she will still have time to do one more thing. So if she’s coloring, tell her that she can finish coloring with the red crayon and then it’s time to start the routine. Or she can finish coloring that page, and then it’s time to put the colors and book away. Give your child a heads up that the routine will start soon and she can part with her activity with one last ‘thing.’
Getting them to start the routine: No child wants to go to sleep. And especially separate from their parents and end the day. Getting them to even start the routine can sometimes be challenging. After you have had them complete their task or finish their playtime, you will need to get her to go brush their teeth. Of course, this isn’t as fun as playing or hanging out. How do you get them to do this? Introduce play into the boring task.
Bring in fun: Race your child up the stairs to see who gets there first. Or suggest hopping on one foot to the bathroom. .Try to brush your teeth standing on one foot. Perhaps swap bathrooms – your child brushes her teeth in your bathroom, and you in hers? Try to think of silly and fun ways to get them to start the process.
During the routine: So you’ve finally gotten your child to separate from her toys and you’ve started the routine. She’s in his pjs, brushed teeth, and now in she’s ready for the second part of the routine- books and bed. Usually by then your little one should be ready to finish the routine, however sometimes it can get a little tricky.
Have your child pick out TWO or THREE books that she wants you to read. You should tell her how many she can pick out, and she can pick which books. You can also give her a few books and tell her to pick out from the ones you’ve selected.
If your child is old enough, you can change locations of where you will be reading the books. Her bed, her floor, your bed, the living room. Reading the books, doesn’t necessarily have to be in her room, but it is often suggested for it. Regardless of the location, you want to make sure that it’s a calm setting and not in front of the TV.
Making the books fun. Reading a book doesn’t always necessarily need to be boring. The hardcover short books are what you’re aiming for but can make it engaging and fun. Try using silly voices while reading them. Books can also be fun and engaging, like the ‘Touch and Feel’ for the younger ones. Or even the ‘press the button’ ones to make sounds. ‘Seek and Find’ are great books for the older ones! The one we love most in our home is Richard Scarry’s “Cars and Trucks and Things that Go!” So fun finding Goldbug!! You can read the book together, or if they’re old enough, have your read you a book.
After the routine before bed: This is where it sometimes gets harder as the child doesn’t want you to finish the routine. Most will start requesting another book, or more water, or more cuddles. If you are consistent and stick to the checklist of the routine, it will help you stay on track and not let the whole routine fall apart. Ensuring that the last transition is smooth. At this point you want to stop with the fun and bring in the soothing, calming part.
Mindful meditation: A good calming technique that I did often with my boys when they were younger is mindful meditation. Now that they’re older, they will still sometimes do it on their own with an app. Listening to a guided meditation can really help calm your child’s body, thoughts and breathing. You can do it together with your child in their room.
Good night cuddles and talk: One last moment with your child and make it special. A few cuddles, hugs, and kisses. Make sure not to linger too much though. A little conversation about how her day was, and what she’s looking forward to. A fun activity I did with my kids is to ask them what they wanted to dream about. To think of anything. Maybe dreaming of swimming in a bowl of cream or pasta. Or flying through the clouds. This leaves your toddler with happy soothing thoughts as they drift off into sleep.
Is your toddler resisting bedtime and want to talk more? Let’s set up a call!