Siblings And Sharing a Room
Having your kids share a room can create a sibling bond and lifetime memories. Although sometimes putting your kids in a room together is more about a necessity, and not having enough space and needing them in 1 room. Whatever the reason may be, many parents often hesitate to do so as they are worried they’ll have two kids (or 3 in my case) awake in the middle of the night.
From a very young age, I had my two older boys share a room; when my eldest was 3 and my second son was 2 years old. They were sharing a room until they were 9 and 10, when my 4-year old son also joined them in their room, to create what I called ‘The Frat House.’ In this case I had no option, as baby #4 came along and there was no space. So there I was, putting my 3 boys ages 10, 9, and 5 in one room. Yes, that’s right you heard me – 3 boys in one room, while my youngest girl was in her own room. You might be thinking to yourself, OMG it must have been craziness and everyone is up all night. NOPE! Not in my house. Many parents fear having one child waking the other one up, but if it’s done correctly, there shouldn’t be problems.
When is the right time to put siblings together in one room:
- Great sleepers: The first thing you want to make sure is that both (or all kids) that are sharing a room, are great sleepers. You don’t want to put two kids sleeping in the same room, if one is having sleep issues. If there is one that is having sleep issues, I would address it first, and then put them in a room together. However, if they are both having sleep issues, you absolutely can sleep train both at the same time in one room.
- Age: I would suggest waiting until the youngest child that will be in the room, to be at least 6 months or older. A baby of 6 months or older is and can be sleeping through the night, and won’t have wake ups at night that will wake the other child up.
- Right time: If you are moving two kids into a room together, try to not do this big change around another big change (like another sibling coming). You don’t want them to feel like they have been kicked out their room because a new sibling is coming.
Things to consider:
- Sleep space: First off, make sure each child has their own sleep space – a bed and/or crib. The room should be dark, but if there is an older child who wants or needs a small night light, you can use one. Just make sure the light is small and not so bright.
- Noise machine: I strongly suggest using one of these. This will help drown out the noise, to avoid waking each other up.
- Behavioral Clock: If one of the siblings is in a bed and is old enough to understand, it is recommended to set up a behavioral clock. We want the child to know when is bedtime and when is wake up time, especially if there’s someone else in the room. The child must understand that they can’t wake up their sibling to play, that is still sleep time, and wait until the color changes to start their day.
- Sleep schedule: When you have two kids on two different schedules, make sure you keep to each of their schedules. It is not recommended to move bedtimes so that they are both going to sleep at the same time, if they are not on the same schedule. Putting your older child to sleep earlier because his younger sibling is going to sleep can definitely backfire, as your child is not tired and will want to play. Same goes for the baby who needs to go to sleep earlier, and you are stretching their wake window too late, causing them to be overtired and can have night wakings.
- Routine: If possible, do the bedtime routine with both kids in their room at the same time. Sitting on the floor or on the bed together reading books and getting them both ready for bed, can often make it easier as they see that both are going to sleep and it’s nighttime. However, if you have to split it up, and your little one is already sleeping in the room, make sure to do the bedtime routine with your older one outside of the room, and then come in and tuck your child in goodnight and leave.
- Sleep rules: It is very important to set up the sleep rules from the beginning. Allowing some talk and wind down time is definitely allowed, but making sure they both know that this can’t go on for far too long/too late.
Thinking of putting your little ones in a room together and have questions? Let’s talk!